i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
