those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
