singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
