I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
