Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize