Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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