"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
