she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
