Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
