Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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