I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
