I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
