The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
