im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
