end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
