The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
