You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
