Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
