He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
