I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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