you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
