rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
