You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
