So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
