I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
