I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
