Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
