He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
