so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize