Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
