I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
