At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So. Much. Porn.
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