She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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