Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
