i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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