I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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