Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
