bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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