check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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