Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to calm my uterus...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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