oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
