Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
