Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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