I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Still dying that you shit outside
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
