First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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