so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
