we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
