I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
