So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
