What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want nice things and good sex
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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