thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
