No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
