I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
