dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
