I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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