dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He did a backflip because drugs
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