A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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