we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
