Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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